How to get your step-kids to like you.

Raising children is the hardest thing in the world to do. As parents, our greatest concern is that we raise our children to be safe, responsible and well adjusted. Raising step kids is all that much harder. It is inevitable that there will be a certain amount of resistance because you are not their “real” parent. They fantasize about their missing parent or constantly compare you to the other parent in their life. Children of divorce or trauma (loss of a parent) have suffered some emotional blows early in their lives so how do you get through it with them?

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What Boats do you Need to Burn?

There have been many times in my business where I have felt “Stumped” and “Stagnant” & it’s at those times that I take a close look at what is holding me back!

There are so many ‘options’ out there today for business’s and ways to ‘grow your business’, ‘make money online’ etc… that many people get themselves into a state of “Overwhelment” and then the funny thing that happens is this…”Nothing” gets done/accomplished.

One of my favourite history stories is about Hernando Cortez, who crushed the Aztec Empire.  He made their level of committment ‘essential’ by burning his armies boats, so they had ‘no choice’ but to move ahead.  To move towards their goal with no ‘other options’.

This is definitely a story that I think about and ponder when I’m in that ‘stagnant’ stage.  I give myself permission to ‘Look at where I am at’ and ‘who I am being’.  I know that my level of committment is being hindered by the boats(or our lame exuses) that I am hanging on to!

Once I have clearly identified the boats (exuses) I give myself permission to burn them down & give myself no other option than to “move forward”.

I highly encourage you right now to think of where you are in your business & if you are happy with your level of success/income/business development…are you 100% happy with it?  If not, then you need to identify what your boats/exuses are, write them down, then have a good old ‘burning session’.

“The key to change…is to let go of Fear!” Roseanne Cash

Start right now to get rid of too many options, and move yourself forward ‘one option at a time’.

Jody Maley

owner of www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com

“Where it’s not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get There!”

Quick Tips for Home Office Organization

This week on a radio program I will be speaking about “Quick Tips for Home Office Organization“.

With summer just about over many ‘home entrepeneurs’ are now focusing on business for the fall, so here are some of my best tips to get your summer out of your head and how to Juice up your Fall!
Now is the time to take ACTION!
Here are a few ideas that YOU can incorporate right now to help organize your home office!

Tip#1 Organize or decide where your workspace is going to be!

I find many WAHM‘s don’t have access to ‘their own space’, so if at all possible set aside the computer desk, a spare room, or even make space in a well lit area! (I personally do not like working in a cramped part of the basement and find that a well lit, natural sun spot gets my own creative ideas rolling much more better!)

Tip#2 Once you have established where your “Space” is going to be spend 15 min’s per day Getting it into a “Creative Zone”

This can be ‘de-cluttering’ or ‘beautifying’ your area! A nice plant, a few pictures, or best yet…this is where you will put your “Dream/Vision Board”
Tip#3 Make your Dream/Vision Board

If you haven’t already done one, I highly recommend this for any Home Business! You need to have handy a board that you can look at for at least 2-5 min’s before you start doing any work to “Remind” yourself of your “Why”.
I also love to have mine right beside my computer so that when I’m doing my writing I know exactly WHO my audience is that I’m attracting to me every day!

Tip#4 Have a Great Calendar on your desk!

This is one of my fav tips! I like to have a big monthly calendar right at my space.
I jot down phone numbers, my conference call schedule, set my ‘work hours’.
For those of you in a Home Party Plan Business you might want to put the days that you are doing your shows so that your family will know your schedule, and don’t forget to schedule in your ‘training time’.

Tip#5 Run your business like a Business to get paid like a Business!

If you could put your business on speed-dial to 2-3 yrs down the road and “Saw Yourself” making huge amounts of money…what would your office hours look like? Where would your children be?

I think one of the biggest obstacles holding alot of WAHM’s back is the fact that they just don’t know what to do with their children while they are ‘working’….so no set ‘working schedule’ gets put into practice.
The best tip that I can give you (especially having at least one child at home for the last 17 yrs while running a significant 6 digit business) is make sure the children know that now is “mommy’s work time”.

Arrange with them that they can quietly watch a movie, or play in their room for about a 30 minute time period. Don’t budge on this….& don’t constantly tell them that ‘mommy is working, or mommy is on the phone’ is just setting yourself up for interruptions!
I found that if I had a consistent daily time of 30 min’s to make calls, write, read etc…that the kids got used to this being my Work Time. Then immediately after my 30 min’s I make sure to do a ‘planned activity’ with the kids! (BTW I do not consider Facebook and Twitter activities into this 30 min’s…sorry girls!)

Consistency is the key here, and I found that I accomplished more in a concentrated half hour than most people do in three days!
Even if I had no calls to make, I use this time to write, answer emails, or read something that I can learn to move my business forward!
This is your “Daily Action Time” and is Essential to move forward and make your business Pay you like a Business!

So these are my top Five Quick Tips for Home Office Organization that I know will help move Your business forward to a more productive Fall!

In closing, I’d also like to say that when you & your family know that you are taking your business seriously you can move that 30 min’s into longer periods as well.
For example, I now host several ‘one hour’ radio programs, have ‘one hour’ business development TeleSeminar’s and ‘one hour MasterMind groups’ that my family (spouse and children both) know is BIZ time!

To your Fabulous Fall!

Jody Maley

owner of www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com
“Where it’s not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get There!”

Blended Family Wedding Vows!

My girlfriend had two children from a previous marriage (one boy, one girl) & had told us to feel free to bring our own children if we came.

This was a nice change for us since we have six children, and it always stresses out at least one child to not be invited to a wedding.
Although I can certainly see the point of the Bride & Groom that when they invite us they don’t necessarily want to have six more children running around.

Basically though in the last few years we have only had our youngest two (8 & 6) at home on a regular basis.

Our youngest girl is definitely our ‘girlie girl’ though and was quite excited at the prospect of ‘dressing up’ & seeing all the grown-ups in nice clothes.

Our boy on the other hand, didn’t really care (he’s the 6 yr old) as long as we were swimming in a pool somewhere!

What I really enjoyed about the ceremony was the fact that they made her children a big part of it!

Both her boy, and her daughter stood up for their mom.  As well, they were part of the ceremony.

There was a huge empty vase with four smaller vases surrounding it in four different colors of sand (colors in the wedding btw) black, chocolate, cream & sea green!

What they did was each new family member had a different color sand that they took turns pouring into the larger vase, symbolizing their coming together as a family.  It was beautiful and once it was all completed they have a beautiful vase filled with the different colors that they can keep as a memento from their beautiful wedding.

I also thought that this was a great way to make the kids feel that they were a part of the wedding and ceremony; after all, those of us who have blended families know that you aren’t just marrying the mother/father, you are also marrying into that other person’s household!

I think that with many families blending together (we have 6 kids…2 his, 2 mine & 2 together) that is equally important that the children are made to feel part of the family immediately.

Kudos to my friends for including, well actually making her children just as much ‘stars’ as they were! It was beautiful & inspiring to be part of their special day!

After the big event & a beautiful dinner all the kids had a blast dancing the night away…well, until at least 9:30pm.  Our 6 yr old son I have to admit was the cheesiest dancer, but had everyone in stitches (he has a new dance about every 2 weeks!).  He was in prime form for showing off a blend of John Travolta from Grease but not moving his feet at all!

Several of the guests kept saying, “Hey Greyson, put your hand out like this, and move your feet like this!”  But he just kept on doing what made him happy, ignoring those of us who would tell him otherwise!  (Peer pressure won’t be an issue when he is a teen-ager!)

I guess it is true, you should always Dance like no one is watching!  I think it’s way more fun!

Go Grease Lightning! Nah nah nah nah!

Jody Maley
www.designedfordivinedestinations.com
“Where it’s not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get there!”

Jobs Are Not for Earning Money

I have recently been listening to Robert Kiyosaki’s book Rich Dad, Poor Dad in my car (the only place it’s ever quiet enough for me. He illustrates a lot of good information in his book. It’s a great way to learn how the wealthy think. He talks about jobs; how they are NOT for earning money. HUH?

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How does Divorce Affect Children

When I got divorced the people I was thinking of the most were my two children and how this would affect them.

Like alot of parents who get divorced, I stayed in a very unhealthy relationship for the kids.

I know, what was I thinking???

My youngest was only five at the time and he fared pretty well, my older daughter on the other hand had a pretty rough go of it! She was almost nine and stayed ‘mad and angry at mom until she was around fourteen’.

To say the least our time spent together was filled with yelling (on her part) and tears and biting my tongue on my end.

Through it all I always knew that I had a choice to make, and I decided that I wasn’t going to be that angry divorced parent who constantly put down the other; after all, our reasons for divorcing were between the two of us and not the fault of our children.

My new spouse (we are now a blended family, two his two mine and two together) gave me some very wise advice….just give her space, she will come back to love you…you are her mother and time does heal things. 

My daughter is now a beautiful young lady of eighteen and even though I would love to be closer to her than we are, she knows I love and care for her.  She said to me recently that even though she was young and angry at me, she sees how happy I am now and is glad that I made the right choice for myself and left her father.

Sometimes we stay in ‘toxic relationships’ because we are worried how it will affect our children, or what other people would say, or sometimes we stay out of fear…whatever ‘our’ reasons I’m here to tell you that deciding what is ‘best for you’ is always the best in the long run.

I love my life and family now, they know how much I love them and I’m always there…and best of all “I am happy, complete and confident in myself!”  Being who I am today is truly the best gift I can give to my kids!

There is a saying, “A happy mom is the hub of a happy home!”, so don’t rob your family of happiness!

Here are a few tips that I’ve used:

1) Let your children know every time you see them that you love them and keep the communication lines open.
2) Yes, children or parents do get emotional in this time….remember to be the Best you and refrain from negativity.
3) Plan ‘fun dates’ with your kids! (every time our kids are all together…the first thing they do is haul out the game boards because we take the time to PLAY with them)
4) Don’t try to ‘buy your children’s love’ every kid sees through that!
All in all, the best advice is simply Time!  And learn to forgive yourself!

Give your kids a hug today,
Jody in Beautiful BC

www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com

“Where it’s not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get There”

Is there a Bear in Your Yard?

As a Canadian I was talking to my business partner Charlotte the other day telling her about the Bear we had in our backyard.

The kids had come in saying “we have a bear in the yard” and their dad said, “oh you’re just telling a story!”.

We soon believed them though when a friend phoned us on her cell phone “Uh, you better bring your kids inside cause I just saw a small black bear going into your yard!”

So Charlotte said, you better blog about that because “Only in Canada” do you hear stories like that.  Eh??

This got me thinking….How many times do we sabotage ourselves in our business with this kind of thinking???

Seriously, think about it!

Someone tells us…..”Hey, look Mr. CEO is making XXX amount of $$$ and he’s going to be in your city(or backyard)…you should check him out and see how he’s doing that!” And for some strange reason, we don’t believe that person who is so close to us! A friend, a relative etc….It’s sad that we no longer have a STRONG belief of what our own friends/relatives are telling us, yet they truly have our best interest at heart!

Then along comes Sally Sue, who kinda knows us in a general way…says the exact same thing and we Believe her Automatically.

Why is that???

Why on earth have we gotten to the point that we would believe something a near stranger would say to us over the input we get from our own family/friends?

I heard a few years ago a survey (I think about 20 yrs ago)was done through Bridge Ratings that asked what …or who our “Circle of influence was??”

On the top 3 were:

1)Religious Leaders
2)Teachers
3)Family Friends & Acquaintances

The same survey was repeated 20 yrs later with the results being top 3:

1) Stranger with Experience
2) Family Friends & Acquaintances
3) Teachers

The shift in this is due entirely to Internet & Info Products!

So I guess its good news that we are getting a higher level of influence from our friends and family than we did 20 yrs ago, and even better news for us in the business world that we can “Brand ourselves” as the true Experts that we are in our field!

I encourage you as a business owner to get “yourself out there”.  Instead of getting people to “pay you” just for a quick sale, start giving away your awesome tips and ideas!  Be the leader of your business, the Leader of your Circle of Influence! This will pay you in the long run….trust me!

To your Amazing Awesome-ness!!!

Jody Maley
The Canukian Biz Queen
Owner of www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com

 

How To Shorten A URL

Before I started using Twitter, I never really cared about shortening my URLs or links…. I never really had a need to. Who cares how long links are … right?

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How to Set Goals

I was on a blog talk radio show last week and we were talking about goal setting. It’s easy enough to write down a bunch of stuff you want to do but it’s not always easy how to figure out what you want. Lots of people want to set them but they don’t know how to set goals.

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