Article on Parenting Styles

 

Our first ‘family’ trip is what set the precedence for our whole house of rules.  So it’s very interesting to be writing an Article on Parenting Styles.

I still remember it like it had happened yesterday.

We had to travel quite a distance, about 7 hours one way and we had decided to break the trip up a little. We drove the whole way one day, & then we promised all the children that their good behavior would be ‘rewarded’ to a trip to the water park on the way home.

Kids being kids though, they tested our patience with being loud in the car, and both sets of siblings quarrelling.

My new spouse Christian had declared a ‘quiet zone’ & so for a few hours the trip was quiet and uneventful.

Now my youngest was only 5 yrs old and used to ‘getting his own way’.  He kept asking me ‘to do this for him’ and ‘mom, can you tie my shoes?’.  I still remember Christian saying, “Ok, CJ you are big enough to do those things for yourself and if you ask one more time for your mom to do something for you, we will NOT go to the water park!”

About 15 min’s later at McDonald’s “Mom, can you cut my pancakes???”

Oops!   That was it, Christian then said “Ok, no water park!”

Being 5 he didn’t quite understand what was going on, and I don’t think it hit home until we were DRIVING past the water park.  He started crying, and the older kids were telling him to “Be quiet or we’ll never get to do another thing in our lives!”

To be quite honest, even I thought he was going to at the last moment pull in to the water park.

It set a very good example for the rest of our kids growing up as they knew when Christian said something he meant it & follow through is very important.

It also made the kids work more together as a Team to get something they wanted! Because if one child acted up, they all received nothing.

Since then we have had two more children together & it always amuses me that the four older children will tell the younger two how important it is to ‘listen when mom and dad ask you to do something!’

This was definitely a lesson that I’m glad that we all learned early in our relationship together & what I learned as a parent is the importance of “when you say something as a parent, Follow Through is the most important thing!”

Sometimes as a parent we tend to give ‘ultimatums’ but then lack the integrity to back up what we say!

I can now say from experience that this was one of the best lessons we have given to our older children, and they also know that when they want “honest” feed-back from us now that they are young adults, we are
the parents that will provide that for them!

Jody Maley

Owner of www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com
“Where its not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get There!”
www.twitter.com/jodymal

 

Is There A Recession?

Recession is a word that I hear most every day lately. It’s on the news shows, newspapers, online, twitter, you name it. Is there a recession? YES. Most of these people are talking about an economic recession. We hear about people losing jobs and companies closing. Is this an economic recession or another kind of recession?

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My Cup of Tea

As I grew into adulthood I could never did like the smell of coffee. My mom was more of a tea drinker so I followed suit. I have always been a tea drinker and love my tea.

Tea is a comfort thing for me. I know the stereotype in England is that tea will fix everything. Some tragedy happens and then there is someone putting the kettle on next. Putting the kettle the indirect way for Brits to say “I want to comfort you”.

Before I lived in England, for a couple of years, I would drink any ol’ hot tea. When I lived in Coventry, I learned what good tea is, I even go to import stores and get some when there is no one I know making a trip to England that I can bribe or if I can’t find some stranger in the UK online who I can charm into mailing me some. (Yes, I have done that).

Since I returned to the US in 1991, I just can’t take bad tea. On occasion I will pick up some random Ceylon (oh my favorite blend) and try it out.. I know, it’s never going to be as good but lots of times I will get lucky and it’s good. It’s always risky drinking tea when I’m out, tea seems to be the bastard child if you go to any place that focuses on coffee “we have 8 million coffees, and oh, here are our 4 teas (usually some weird fruity thing)” I always end up with an English Breakfast blend OR if there is a turine with hot water in it, it’s iffy..I mean..it’s probably had coffee in it …and they don’t clean that out well and well, the tea just ends up smelling like coffee.. BLECH!

Why all the tea talk, it’s kind of a rant but not really, because what this really is..is to say that life is too short for bad tea. Seriously, I can’t just accept the tea I am given. I’m not drinking bad tea. If I pay $2 for a cup of tea and it sucks, I throw it away. If I buy some at the store and it is stale, I toss it.

Life is too short for bad tea! I won’t accept anything below my standard. If I am that way about my tea, imagine what my life is like anywhere else! If I won’t accept bad tea, I certainly won’t accept less in my relationships, my work, my spiritual life..or any place else.

Are you drinking the bad tea because that is what you were served, or are you holding out for the good stuff..finding out where the good tea is?

I am divorcing my Hairdresser

I am sure that some readers immediately know the frustration I have. I’m not sure what goes on with some hairdressers but it certainly is difficult to find a stable hairdresser.

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A Return to Love

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson – A Return To Love

Army Backgrounds can prepare you as single parents

For some of you, this picture is a total flashback. It certainly is for me. This is me right before my dad left for Vietnam. Right in front of the cars and right in front of the base housing.

As an Army brat Army backgrounds don’t just apply to those who served, but all of their family members as well. All the spouses and children that were hauled all over the country and the world from base to base.

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Do You have Heart Condition Symptoms?

Things haven’t always been peaches & cream in my life!

A few years ago I was in the lowest point in my family life.

My new spouse and I had struggled through a few things, my divorce, blending our families, total house fire, new children together and I had finally hit my biggest wall: finding out I had a Heart Condition!

When I realized that my Heart Condition Symptoms were telling me something, something very important, that I was on a road that I didn’t necessarily want to be on.

I think we all have a ‘wake up moment’ in our lives….for me it was listening to the Heart condition symptoms I was having, and realizing that I could be taken away from my family at any given moment.

Suddenly, I wasn’t the same Jody Maley anymore.

Feelings of unhappiness, fear, doubt started to plague me.

I awakened to something deep within me that said “you have not completed what you are supposed to Be yet!”

I was at a point in my life where I was engulfed by Fear! Fear of dying, fear of my younger children waking up & me being a lump in my bed. (no parent wants to have that fear!!)

I was afraid of all the past goals I’ve had that I haven’t accomplished yet!

At this point I realized I had two very specific options:
1) I could delve more Into this Fear and let it Rule my Life or
2) I could Face this Fear and become Stronger in myself

Well, I chose option 2!

Even though I had Fear of my heart condition symptoms, I realized that this was a great Gift from God for me to Start over! To finally realize Who I was, and Why I was here!

There were a few very Obvious things in my life that I knew I could change that were not making me very happy:

• I was in a J.O.B. (just over broke) that I absolutely hated!
• We were living in the tiniest two-bedroom trailer in a Park
• I didn’t feel I knew what my Life Purpose was and since my divorce felt like I was “wandering and surviving” in my day to day life
• Obviously I was having Heart Condition Symptoms several times a week ( I have a spasm in my artery BTW which can feel like I’m having a full blown heart attack, very painful & leaves me Very tired after an episode)
• My spouse had been out of work for almost a year so our relationship was very strained

When I realized that these things were happening (I had actually sat down and wrote out my Fears and things I knew were upsetting me) I decided right Then that changes Had to be made!

I didn’t want to die, and this was a Very Real scenario I was dealing with!

How could I change those things above though? I knew I was in a “Survivor” and “Victim” mentality but I also knew for myself, my health, and most importantly for my Children (we have 6, 2 his 2 mine and 2 together) that Changes needed to be made!

My first order of business was to get rid of the J.O.B. that I absolutely Hated!  So I went online to search for a ‘real’ at home business for myself.

It was in this searching that many of my answers came to me from a Higher Power.

Everytime I would search something a pop-up would come up about a new book called “The Secret“.  This happened about 2 times, and I read the inserts and was definitely intrigued!

My background though as a very strict christian kept telling me, oh this is just a new-age thing, nothing for Me to take Seriously.

I was getting a little frusterated and took a break from searching and checked my email….I had a message from Oprah from her book club info and guess what the message was about? Yup, “The Secret”!

I thought “Ok God” I guess this is what You are trying to tell me!

I bought the book, and also got myself a Self Development home-course and with using both of these together some amazing things took place in a VERY short time period! (in Less than 4 MONTHS)

• My spouse got a new job offer!
• We moved onto LakeShore Property
• I realized my “True Passion“ to work with ladies in a Party Plan Biz and started my own company!
• And best of all ***I have not taken One Single Pill for my Heart Condition Symptoms***

I think what has made me the saddest is when I see other amazing women who just aren’t Happy in life!
They jump from business to business, job to job & spend thousands of dollars doing this!

Now you can discover a new way to live your life, boost your business sales & be your authentic self at the same time! This is my ‘gift’ to you!

 

Sincerely Jody Maley
www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com
“It’s not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to Get There!”

Creating Community

Many times what we call a community is not exactly “our own community” when we observe it up close. Many people have a church community or may call it community when they have a bible study or ladies group but what sort of community is it?

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Why do people use online social networks and blog?

I started my blog in the Fall last year. My husband has been blogging for quite some time whether it was on someone else s interactive blog or his own. For a long time I wasn’t sure what blogging was and thought that it was probably pretty complicated.

Turns out, blogging is very easy and I have found that the more I write, the more I find I have to say.

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Tribute to Parents

My tribute to parents!

I found this fascinating quote today:

“M” is for the million things she gave me,

“O” means only that she’s growing old, “T” is for the tears she shed to save me,

“H” is for her heart of purest gold;

“E” is for her eyes, with love-light shining,

 “R” means right, and right she’ll always be,

Put them all together, they spell “MOTHER,” A word that means the world to me. –Howard Johnson

Joydan, Words of Love » Blog Archive » I love Mom!, May 2009

Thanks for reading My Tribute to Parents!

Jody Maley

www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com

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